Moon Walker
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Posts: 349
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Post by Moon Walker on May 12, 2006 20:04:46 GMT -5
Well, I did a fanfic before on ACO, and I'm working on another there as well, but seeing as this is a FF forum, I decided to make a FF fanfic, whats the harm?
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Post by Tailsnake on May 12, 2006 20:10:07 GMT -5
I really need to get back to my fic
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Moon Walker
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Post by Moon Walker on May 12, 2006 20:14:38 GMT -5
Now was that a comment on mine? meh...
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Post by Tailsnake on May 12, 2006 20:16:41 GMT -5
There's not really much to comment on yet is there?
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Moon Walker
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Posts: 349
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Post by Moon Walker on May 12, 2006 20:21:04 GMT -5
Heh, I guess so, oh well, atleast someone read it.
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ninja-cobalt
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Posts: 262
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Post by ninja-cobalt on May 12, 2006 20:49:55 GMT -5
Meh, your conversation and style overall seems a bit "forced"... I always enjoy reading fanfics though, i look forward to this one.
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Post by Shark on May 13, 2006 7:50:34 GMT -5
Your premise with the whole team deal is okay so far, but you might want to consider seperating some of your thoughts with periods.
I mean, a lot of paragraphs are completely joined together by commas, making it seem like they're one complete thought, and kind of forced, example is what I'm doing right now, I could go on and on...
The same goes with the dialect; a new paragraph should be started when a new person speaks so that the readers are more clear when the speaker has changed.
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Post by O-G on May 13, 2006 22:28:00 GMT -5
lol...you HAVE to have a battle Vs. Barda where u lose first time then own him the next time lolz but u need to let him win once...for me  |
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Moon Walker
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Posts: 349
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Post by Moon Walker on May 14, 2006 1:07:03 GMT -5
no problem, I'll see what I can do.
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Post by O-G on May 14, 2006 8:38:47 GMT -5
haha boo yae
thanks for doing that if you end up to
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Post by O-G on May 18, 2006 6:27:53 GMT -5
o.O
i got a better idea...have Barda Join the team! lol
i guess u could call the creator by the name of...AJ?
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Moon Walker
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Post by Moon Walker on May 18, 2006 20:02:51 GMT -5
I could but Barda and Mint share some parts, like the HORNET, EOS, CORAL...
What I have in mind is that you'd join the Moon Walkers for a while, but after seeing Omar and Klen losing some battles you quit looking for a winning team.
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Post by O-G on May 19, 2006 14:39:47 GMT -5
hmm...well since ACTUAL parts in Fics arent as important just switch them around a bit and stick different parts on, anyway as far as i know part sharing in a fic is fine Edit:And actually, Barda V3 doesnt use EOS or CORAL anymore, hes much better now too  Take a look, when i have the cd, this will be the league Barda Head: H11-QUEEN==6,4,0,0,0 Core: CR-C90U3==0,6,0,0,4 Arms: A11-MACAQUE==3,0,3,4,0 Legs: LH05-COUGAR==0,0,0,0,10 Booster: CR-B83TP==6,0,4 FCS: CR-F91DSN Generator: KUJAKU==5,0,5 Radiator: RAGORA==5,0,5 Inside: -REMOVE EQUIPMENT- Extension: JIREN Back Unit R: -REMOVE EQUIPMENT- Back Unit L: -REMOVE EQUIPMENT- Arm unit R: CR-WR81G Arm Unit L: WH04HL-KRSW Hangar Unit R: -REMOVE EQUIPMENT- Hangar Unit L: -REMOVE EQUIPMENT- ======== O01-AMINO CR-O69ES CR-O71EC CR-O79L+ O03-CODON O04-GOLGI CR-O86R+ ======== Base Character 0,5,-4,-8,-16,6 Performance 7,7,7,0,8,8,9,9,10,10 Operations 0 Sec: MOB-1 30 Sec: MOB-1 60 Sec: MOB-1 90 Sec: ATW-2 120 Sec: ATW-2 150 Sec: ATW-2 |
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Post by O-G on May 21, 2006 19:43:29 GMT -5
srry for another double post but it seems im the only one who really keeps up with this fic, i like it quite a bit anyway, yay! Barda pwnd crest...but you couldn't find the architect!Ohhhh the suspense  even though you'll probably keep the suprise factor there, im going to ask anyway, is Barda going to join the team soon? |
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Post by Shark on May 21, 2006 19:49:30 GMT -5
Hah... I found Barda's appearance to be amusing.
I should edit my own fic about now...
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Moon Walker
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Post by Moon Walker on May 21, 2006 19:50:21 GMT -5
Heh, well it would be quite a surprize that a 15th ranker would join a new formed team but it should happen soon enough.
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Post by O-G on May 21, 2006 19:58:09 GMT -5
i wasnt going to say that bit about the rankings...but the thought was there lol, but hey...the creator of Barda(e.g. me) is very generous if he can be lol
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Moon Walker
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Post by Moon Walker on May 21, 2006 20:04:10 GMT -5
I figured out that much.
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Post by O-G on May 24, 2006 21:49:53 GMT -5
one step ahead of me i see...
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Moon Walker
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Posts: 349
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Post by Moon Walker on May 28, 2006 3:29:36 GMT -5
Over-confidence was the down fall of many people, let it be the same with Klen in his match against AJ's ( O-G ) Barda?
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Post by O-G on May 28, 2006 8:07:05 GMT -5
hmm...i think AJ should lose this next one so he'll be inspired to make the newest version of Barda(my V3)
or...he could be inspired to create Juliet as a part of their team hehe
Edit:And i would PM you the new V of her too so you dont get the old version of her that's in the league right now
Edit2:Also, AJ could use Juliet as an excuse to join their team anyway since Juliet would be at the bottom of the League eh?If he won that is.
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Moon Walker
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Posts: 349
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Post by Moon Walker on May 28, 2006 10:18:33 GMT -5
don't worry, I have a nice plot going on in my head, should you ever be displeased or disappointed, tell me. I've been able to fix things up pretty quick in most cases I'm put in.
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Post by O-G on May 28, 2006 11:24:44 GMT -5
as long as Barda joins the team either because he loses or he wins then uses Juliet in order to join the team by sayin"well...she's a low ranker" as an excuse to join
OH!
Better idea, have AJ win his next battle then he'll be like:
Hey, you know what, i have an experimental AC(Juliet V2) that i want to try out, beat HER, and ill join the team if you allow me to use her on the team also.
You like?
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Moon Walker
Proficient Technician ![]() http://www.freewebs.com/shear_x000/MISC%20Pics/SiteRankIcons/LightBlue
Posts: 349
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Post by Moon Walker on May 28, 2006 21:36:19 GMT -5
How in the world did you read my mind?
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Post by O-G on May 29, 2006 19:24:19 GMT -5
lol...im good like that
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